I think it's official: I'm depressed. For the past N
weekends, I've not been motivated to do much beyond cleaning my apartment. There was the fun trip with ctseawa
to the Skagit Valley to see the tulips and some other sights, but my energy levels lately have been near zero. There are two friends of mine that I've been slowly conversing with via email. In both cases the ball has been in my court for at least a week, and I can't work up the energy to respond. (Yet I can compost (typo, but I'm leaving it in) this whinefest; hrm) Work has been OK. I can't get my brain to keep from focusing on tiny little minutiae, to the detriment of big picture. It keeps wanting to work out the tiniest details (what's the fastest way to thoroughly hash two 32-bit values into one using the fewest registers? Now how do I get that into gcc assembly in the best way?) and not stop, despite the fact that the result will be useless for months.
I want to go out. I haven't been into the gaming group at work. I haven't been on bearciti in months
. I haven't been to the gym in even longer, and it's beginning to show :(. There's a local acquaintance who basically asked to start doing things with new locals, and I have not responded to him. I have a great trip in May that I really need to get off my ass about. I should be excited about my sister's wedding, and going to The French Laundry. But my brain doesn't want any of that. *sigh*
I think I need to focus more on proper sleep; that should be a good first step. Start off light, just use some melatonin and my sunrise clock again. Usually the winters here don't bother me, but I am entirely ready for spring. Plz 2b suny now, kthx?