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Evil, but cute & gay about it
...ramblings of the imperfectly innocent
Banya visit, pt. 2 
17th-Jun-2006 01:39 am
Part 2 - body-image navel gazing

A while ago, when I was trying to rationally analyze my body-image issues, I was sincerely looking for a place where I could just see genuine naked men. Not for titillation, but to get an idea of what the typical range of bodies actually looks like. This place would have been just the ticket. I've tried several times to take the feeling this gives me and put it to paper (as it were), but I don't have the right words. It's just really nice to be able to leisurely observe how other guys look.

It's not even about sex, exactly, although one big realization that comes from it is the fact that I really do find quite a lot of body types attractive.

Another thing is that I still don't have a good grasp of is what I actually look like. Mirrors just don't cut it; I need to see myself from across the room, and from the side, and from the back. I wish someone else had been with me, because there were a few guys there who might have resembled my build (which is pretty rare), and I desperately wanted to ask "Is that what I look like?". 'Cause if it is, then I just might be as attractive as some people say I am. Which would be kinda neat to feel that way.
17th-Jun-2006 02:06 pm (UTC)
i remember the first time i saw a picture of myself naked from behind

i'd asked jodi and mal to take the shot so i could see the cane marks

i dunno, man

self esteem isn't in the skin, it's in yer head
18th-Jun-2006 07:44 am (UTC)
Yeah, I mostly agree with that. I was feeling pretty confident that day, and I'm sure that helped.

I still have no clue what I really look like, and these days that's affecting my workout goals. I don't have a mental image of what's possible, so figuring out what to shoot for is difficult. Still, my body is making me happy these days, and that can't be bad.
(Deleted comment)
18th-Jun-2006 08:35 pm (UTC)
Yes, exactly! The environment takes away all excuses for pretension, and people can just be honest and open. It's great!

And thanks for the compliment; I really appreciate it.
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